The Question “How Are You Doing, Really?” Changed The Game

Recently in a team meeting (work related) I included the question, “How are you doing, really?” as the first agenda item. I meet with my team regularly and also 1:1 with each member so we have established team norms, community agreements, core values, goals and a plethora of inside jokes. We typically begin our team meetings by recapping the glows and grows of the week but I could sense their energy was off keel.

Including the word, “Really” to the question opened up our conversation and people shared more than usual about their feelings and challenges. They paused, exhaled and spoke from a different place other than regurgitating the typical everything is ok/good/fine. Due in part to the trusted space we’ve created, team members were able to find comfort in expressing themselves and offering suggestions. The team was grateful that I asked the question, posed it in a supportive and non-judgmental manner and genuinely listened.

As I reach out and connect with family and friend I will also ask the question, “How are you doing, really?” It’s changed the game (conversation) for myself and my team. Let me know how it works for you.         

Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to comment, like, and/or share. Have a great day on Purpose‼️                                                                                   *Quiana*


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Hello and welcome to Mommy Scoreboard. It’s been several years but I remember starting my college application essay with the sentence, “You can always find me with a pen in one hand a basketball in the other.” I enjoy writing but the sport of basketball has been my ultimate joy. Fast forward and now I am the proud parent of three children, a happily married woman and an accomplished recreational basketball player. If I had to update my essay sentence it would read, “You can always find me with a pen, a basketball, a kid or two, a mobile device, a skillet, random toy part, a sippy cup, baby wipes, hand sanitizer and face masks in my hands”…WOW, have times gotten better!

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